Toddlers in Tiaras
A sometimes disturbing look at the world of child beauty pageants.
Sip when:
- There's a bizarre name (Marleigh, Daylee, Lynsie)
- You hear a phrase like, "Get it, girl!"
- Contestants consume sugar or caffeine
- Questionable parenting skills are displayed
- A mom dances in audience
Drink when:
- One of the parents uses poor grammar (you done good!)
- Anyone says, "total package"
- Spray tanning occurs
- One of the contestants cries
- A parent threatens to punch someone
- Someone mentions how much pageants cost
- Another family member is embarrassed to be seen
- Anyone makes a Miss America comparison
Chug when:
- Someone says the contest is about personality
- A mom talks about their secret weapon
- You see a glimpse of the neglected brother or sister
- There's a wardrobe malfunction
- There's a temper tantrum (twice if it's the mother)